The Politics of The X-Men: How They Got It Backwards

Who doesn't love the X-Men?  Nobody, that's who.  Prior to the Marvel Cinematic Universe popularizing the Avengers, the X-Men were probably the most well known and beloved superhero team out there.  And what's not to love?  They're a team of scrappy super-powered underdogs and misfits fighting to protect those who fear and hate them.  I'm not even a big comic book fan and one of my favorite shows is X-Men: Evolution.  For over fifty years they've been a staple of the superhero genre.  They've had numerous adaptations in film, comics, and television.  Why have they endured so well?  A number of reasons, actually.
First, they're admirable.  Much like the military men and women who risk life and limb to defend the leftists and hippies that disparage, spit on, and curse at them, the X-Men fight to defend humanity, even those who fear and hate them for being mutants.  Few things could be more noble.
Secondly, they're relatable.  Who hasn't at one time or another felt like an outcast?  Like the world had rejected them for being different?  Certainly many in the geek community have felt that way and many more wish they could just wake up with superhuman abilities.
However, perhaps the greatest strength of the X-Men is their relevance.  Since their first issue was released in 1963, their story has been riddled with social commentary.  In the 60's the plight of mutants  often paralleled the Civil Rights movement with Professor X being compared to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Magneto to Malcolm X.  These days, mutant rights are most often compared to the LGBT movement.  So, naturally, whenever political parties come into play the anti-mutant bigots are always evil Republicans while the tolerant, open-minded Democrats are the party of mutant equality.  Let's discuss why this representation is utter garbage, shall we?

Now, I could cite the Democrat party's long history of institutionalized racism; how they fought to defend slavery in the Civil War, how they founded the KKK and implemented the Jim Crow laws, how they fought tooth and nail against Civi Rights, but Bill Whittle and Alfonzo Rachel explain that far better than I could.  I could also point out that social conservative at most oppose gay marriage and adoption.  To my knowledge, they haven't pushing for a "Homosexual Registration Act" or calling for the construction of giant sentinel robots to combat the "gay menace."

"Queer life-sign detected..." 

But that's beside the point.  The real issue here is not with what mutants represent, but if, hypothetically, mutants existed in the real world, which side would be pro-mutant and which side would be anti-mutant.  Once you look at the facts, the answer might surprise the writers of X-Men.

While there is little risk of the Right imposing on the gay community the same oppressive measures the mutants have suffered, there is a class of people that the Left wants registered and catalogued in government databases and ultimately neutralized.  I am speaking, of course, about gun owners.  Seriously, progressives do not believe that honest citizens can be trusted with their own firearms.  Do you really think they'd be okay with people with destructive eye blasts, telekinesis, or the ability to turn ordinary objects like playing cards into explosives just walking around freely?

Or to control the weather?

Or to knock people out with a touch?

No, they'd want the government to keep tabs on these people so they could be taken away and locked up if deemed necessary.  Whenever Magneto or one of his disciples or just an unaffiliated mutant who finally snapped went on a killing spree, progressives would be calling for stricter mutant laws.  True conservatives would see these people as individuals not responsible for the actions of anyone else and as American citizens afforded all the rights and protections guaranteed by the Constitution.

Furthermore, when you really listen to liberal rhetoric, they talk more about "equality" than "liberty."  The fact is that mutants would have a distinct physical advantage over others and liberals would never tolerate that.  They'd call for mutants to pay a higher tax rate in order to level the playing field, require businesses to hire at least as many non mutants as mutants, and ban mutants from using their powers in public.

Leftist policies are often the policies of fear and envy.  They fear guns, so they want guns taken away from honest American citizens.  They envy the wealthy, so they use the tax system to take what they could never earn themselves.  I know I'd be envious if I lived in a world where some people were born with super powers and I wasn't, but I don't want to punish those more blest than I, so I know I'd be pro-mutant like most conservatives.  On the other hand, the anti-mutant movement would read like a Venn Diagram of those who fear mutants, those who envy mutants, and liberals.  It would pretty much look like this:

The Left would call upon Planned Parenthood to target mutant communities and families that might be carrying a recessive X gene in order to abort as many mutant babies as possible.  And of course, as public opinion starts shifting in favor of mutant rights, they'll call upon their lackeys in Media and Entertainment to pin their long history of anti-mutant bigotry on the Right.  Planned Parenthood will still target mutants for abortion, of course, while accusing Right-to-Lifers of attacking mutants' reproductive freedoms.  There may even be a liberal president who signs a Mutant Rights bill into law, saying "I'll have those muties voting Democratic for the next two hundred years."